Blogging About Blogging

Thin Skin, Criticism, and Life on the Internet.

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• Author: The Blogsultant
• August 15, 2007
• Category: Hurdles, Opinions and Reviews

Yesterday I had an experience that unfortunately isn’t as uncommon as it should be. Here’s how it went:

Man A: I need recommendations for a service.

Man B: I am very happy with so-and-so. Here is his website.

Girl A: I took a look at the site. I noticed something that other designers should beware of. (what follows is a minor site critique along with suggestions for solutions other designers can make).

Man B: upset and defensive. Suggestive that a line was crossed and that someone was unfairly criticized.

Whoa. Some one? Where’s the error here? Ah…it was not a personal critique but rather a review of some THING. And not even specifically that one thing; indeed, it served only as an example of a design error frequently committed that other newbies could learn from.

And like I said, this happens all too often. Maybe it’s because our work and ourselves often become so intertwined that it becomes hard to differentiate between them. Maybe it’s because we want to be influential with our recommendations and any offered variety seeks to threaten our supposed influence. Maybe it’s because we’re too hung up on what others think of us. Whatever it is, it’s dangerous.

The internet is a big, big place. Make that a big, big, public place. Getting our work, designs, writing, opinions, style, etc out there means we are asking for, encouraging, and often stimulating discussion OF IT. Feelings absolutely must be somewhat distanced if one is going to make it; skin needs to be a little thicker. In other words, don’t take it personally if someone seemingly arbitrarily chooses your site as an example of what they wouldn’t do, don’t agree with, or think exemplifies what is wrong in an area. Likewise, don’t take it too personally, getting puffed up and proud, if someone seemingly arbitrarily chooses your site and mimicks the design, links like a following puppy, or encourages others to align with your content. It may be less about YOU than you may think.

And so what if it’s not? Maybe it was meant very, very personally. Who cares? Toughen up a bit, don’t be so easily swayed by others’ opinions, and you’ll find yourself not only more even-keeled but also really surviving in the internet world. Healthy perspective is critical for that survival.

If you find yourself in a dither, taking something more personally than you should, try the following:

• get up. Go for a walk. Talk to a real person. get some fresh air. In other words…distance yourself physically from the environment for a bit.
• consider the view from their shoes. Try to understand what motivated them to say what they did. Chances are they don’t have it out for you or naturally mean…they may have been trying to be helpful. Maybe they possess little tact. Maybe they are poor at communicating their intentions. Have a little compassion.
• sleep on it before trying any kind of reply (one may not even be necessary or productive).
• let it roll off…get involved in something else; go to a “happy spot” and regroup.
• understand it won’t be the last time
• resist the urge to scold them; if you must say anything, try a humble, neutral stance, apologetic even.

Tia Graham, blogsultant, builds, manages, and empowers business blogs that can help you generate income, improve publicity, and interact with your audience. See bloggingwithflair.com for more information.

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